Thursday, April 11, 2013

A Holy Place/Moment

When I shared an experience my family recently had, my Mom pointed out that we had experienced the Holy Place/Moment that Sis. Dibb referred to in her talk at the General Young Women's Meeting.

When we moved to our home a couple of years ago, our kids adopted our neighbors as their grandparents.  They really enjoyed spending time with them.  Over the past year, we have not seen them as much.  Gpa T's health was failing.  We saw Gma T at Julia's reception.  It was the second time she was out in the past year for a social event.

Last week Kendall was home sick.  Gma T. called me and asked for me to put instant sugar free vanilla pudding and sugar free canned peaches on my shopping list.  She then broke into tears telling me that Gpa had only days/weeks left to live.  I told her I would be right up.  My one hour visit turned into four.

She was frantically trying to reach her boys.  One son was on Spring Break with the grandchildren on a remote island with little cell coverage, another son lived out East.  She asked me to pray with her.  I did.  

We visited.  Held hands.  Remembered.  Cried.  Laughed.

Gpa had a breathing rhythm going.  Deep breaths.  No breathing for 20 seconds.  Shallow Breathing.  Repeat.  Gma was connected and knew the pattern.  She would go over and check on him - it was during the 20 seconds on no breathing.  That pattern continued.  It was nice to be there with her.  To see heaven so close.  To see her loving and tender care of him.  She had been doing this day in and day out for a long time. She was getting worn out.  She needed help.

I needed to leave to pick the kids up from piano.  Just as I was leaving, "Visiting Angels" arrived - hospice care - to do an assessment.  She said it would take an hour.  Two hours later, she was still there.

I told the kids about Gpa T's failing health during dinner.

Kerst went to visit after dinner.  Gpa T and Kerst have a sweet connection.  Even with Alzheimers, Gpa still connected with Kerst.  He called Kerst "my little boy".  Kerst held Gpa's hand.  Gpa woke up and saw him.  He smiled and started holding "conversations" with Kerst.  Kerst conversed right back.  Kerst sang to him.  That calmed Gpa.  Kerst sang Lullaby by Billy Joel.  Kerst had the hospice helper, Lisa, in tears.  Gpa would reach up and pinch Kerst's cheeks and touch his dimples.  It was very tender.


On Wednesday, April 3, his health was failing rapidly.  Jenna and Jaley took the afternoon off of school and went to stay with Gma and Gpa and visit.  I arrived later that afternoon.  Gma told me that Gpa asked for "my little boy" frequently that day.  She had our Christmas Card and would show him Kerst's picture.  He would light up.  Kerst arrived after school and immediately came over.

Gpa heard Kerst come in and immediately called "my little boy".  Once again, the sweet interaction between the two continued.  Jenna and Kerst sang to Gpa.


Gpa would drift off.  We would sit with Gma and visit.  Gma would go over and check on Gpa.  She would tenderly touch his head, bend over and weep.  It brought Jenna to tears.  A Holy Moment.


Jenna spent her 18th birthday with them.   She told me she couldn't think of a better way to spend her day than with them.  A Holy Moment.

We left that night with Gpa's bday cake that he never ate due to his failing health.  We used it to celebrate Jenna's bday.

Thursday I stopped in to check on them in the morning.  Gpa was slipping away.

We were heading out later that day to UT to see Julia sing.  I knew heaven was close.

Kerst came home on Thursday.  I told him Gpa was not responding to anyone.  He was "transitioning" as the hospice nurse shared.  Kerst dropped his things and ran up the driveway.  I had him come back and wash his hands.  Kerst went in to see Gpa.  Gpa opened his eyes when Kerst held his hand.  We said goodbye.

Kerst sobbed as we walked down the driveway.  He has a tender heart.

We experienced a Holy Moment.

Gpa passed away on April 6 at 11:33 p.m.  One of his sons and the grandchildren were able to get home in time to say goodbye.  A tender mercy.

Kerst and Jenna are singing at his funeral tomorrow.




4 comments:

And We Sailed On said...

This is such an amazing and wonderful holy moment for your family. No doubt shared by all because of the sweetness of your children (and their mother who taught them). Thank you for your example! xo
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Sarah said...

Oh my, what tender beautiful children you have raised!

becky ward said...

so touching!

becky ward said...

and ditto about the beautiful children you have raised!!